HCG - Placebo or not?

While I was absolutely convinced just a few months ago, that the HCG drops worked miracles (I lost about 16 lbs) I'm now wondering if they were just a placebo and a scam. I had planned on going back on the HCG diet this week, and now I'm thinking about just limiting my calorie intake and instead of sticking to the approved food list (aka "the protocol") I may just limit myself to 500 calories a day.
This is just an experiment mind you...certainly not something I plan to stick with for a long period of time.

G'night!

It's a balancing act...I haven't mastered it yet

It's been a month since I re-joined Fresh Meat and again, I decide to leave...for the second time. Now I wonder, when I come back again, will a team even want me? Will they question my dedication to the team? The league? My love for derby? When I left back in August, it was for completely different reasons. Some emotional..ok most of them were emotional. I felt like I had been completely screwed over and I was pissed off to be honest. I haven't always been very good at juggling responsibilities and commitments. I usually jump in head first and it's all or nothing. Only with things I actually care about though...and derby was IS one of those things. So I did that. I put my family, friends, everything on hold and followed my passion. When my passion was questioned and I felt like my back was against the wall...I felt almost betrayed by something I loved so much. It made me start to question myself, and I hated that. So...I left. It wasn't long before I realized it wasn't going to be that easy. Roller Derby had become a part of me. It was a force so much bigger than I was and I just couldn't stay away. I was lucky enough to have Alumni status so at any point, I could just walk back on to Fresh Meat. So I did. I was so happy to be back, I couldn't wait to get cleared again and start practicing with the teams. I knew drafts were in Feb, so I made sure to come back early enough to regain the strength and endurance I once had, before my injury back in April. Things didn't go exactly how I had hoped. It was taking longer to get cleared than I thought it would...and I started to feel discouraged after I found out there was a special draft that I wouldn't be eligible for. I was actually mad at myself...mad that I left at all. Mad that my body wasn't doing what I wanted it to, mad that I wasn't better than I was. I had no hopes in actually BEING drafted...I just wanted to be eligible. So that...on top of a few other technicalities made me think - maybe my other dream/passion needed my time and commitment for a while. Derby will always be here. I'm 31, and I skate with women in their late 40's. If I'm THAT dedicated to this, if my heart really burns for derby..that flame will still burn in 6 months, a year, whatever it takes. So, the other day while I was sewing some scarves and stressing about how many I could finish before practice, I realized...I need to just commit to one thing. I got some advice from a few NON derby friends first, they knew me the longest, and they both said the same thing. Derby doesn't bring in money and that's what I need right now. If I don't follow my passion for having my own business, I will always regret it and wonder if I could have done it. SO I sent the email, posted on the forum, sent a few texts and that was that. I was no longer on Fresh Meat. I wasn't Alumni. I wasn't anything...but Kara, jewelry and upcycled clothing designer. I cried, and watched my hope of being drafted in Feb to my absolute favorite team of all time (GNR) go out the window. I immediately thought....when I come back...will anyone want me...and that question has been on my mind every day since. I will say this...if this had gone differently and I actually WAS on a team I would have never left just to sew and make jewelry. I'm leaving now because I think it's the best time. I know when I do come back I will be all in, 1000%. And in reality I could have stayed on FM but not make attendance...but why would I want that? That choice wouldn't have been a good one for anyone. I would have been seen as someone that wasn't dedicated, and didn't take the FM program seriously. I think that would have been much worse than leaving...again.

So there it is. I'm still going to skate with Wreckers, Shadow City, Cherry City, Coos County (when I can get out there), Open Scrimmages, and men's endurance (if they'll still have me!) so in 6 months *that's my special number...I'm giving myself 6 months to get my business going and somewhat off the ground* I'll still have my skill, endurance and I'll be ready!

Aloha!

It's 8:10 Hawaii time, and it's about 80 degrees already. We've only been here a night and already I'm in love with Maui. We swam in the ocean a few times already, and plan on snorkeling a little later. I'm posting from my phone, so pardon any mistakes lol.
We just got on the bus, it goes everywhere! Plus. It's just $2.00 for the whole day!

HCG Diet "r1p2d3"

I'm on day 3 of the diet and I'm down to 168 for a total of 13 lbs!! I feel great, I have energy and I'm LOVING waking up every morning and seeing another few pounds gone! Before I know it I'll be into my skinny jeans and out of my fat pants!

HCG Diet "r1p2d1"

Round 1, Phase 2, Day 1!

I decided to try the HCG diet and started taking the drops 2 days ago. I'm on day 3, the day you start taking in only 500 calories. I'm currently at 213 calories for the day and I've been VERY careful, counting everything. I started at 181 lbs, weighed in at 175.5 this morning. My weight has always fluctuated about 8 lbs so that change isn't necessarily due to the diet. We'll see.
I'v been peeing like crazy today lol but I'm guessing that's due to the 1/2-1 gallon of water I've been drinking every day.

Not Back To School - Day 2

Here it is day 2, and she's off to a great start. She has an online "live session" class today for an hour,
She bought herself a laptop using money she had saved in a savings account so she's pretty much set!
School officially started yesterday, and while she hasn't received her physical books and supplies yet, she's able to do most of her work with the online material.

Homeschool

I made the decision today to home school Rabecca for the 2011-2012 school year. A friend suggested Connections Academy to me today when I was looking for information, and I fell in love with it. After doing some research I quickly learned it was the best home school option available. It's a state funded online school, where she can learn at her own pace and I can be more involved with what she's learning. She is actually excited about it, and is looking forward to the possibility of finishing school early in the year. We've already signed up for some amazing field trips, and a "not back to school" camping trip next week!
There's still a few more steps to take for registration, but it should be finished this week and her first day is 8/30. From what I read, she's required to attend 'school' 5 hours a day during the week. It's very structured, she's actually assigned a teacher and we qualify for a free laptop for her to use.
Oaks Park has a home school event 9/9 from 11-4 I'm kind of excited about. $10 for a ride bracelet and skating, plus she gets to interact with other kids in the area that are home schooled. I must admit, I'm a little scared..but I believe it's for the best.
Here's to new adventures, bonding with my daughter and getting her back on track.

What happens when you leave your gear in your car overnight?....

Monday night someone broke into my Jeep and decided my skate bag ($60), including my uniform ($100), skates ($375 including gumball toe stops, Swiss bearings and heartless wheels), knee gaskets ($30), ankle braces ($13 each), wrist guards ($18), elbow pads ($20), mouth guard ($13), black derby skinz ($18), outdoor wheels ($20) Betties shirt ($?) among other misc clothes were more important to them than me..and..100 tickets to the Season 6 Championship bout valued at $14 a piece. I was the new Betties ticket wrangler..they were my responsibility. I decided to have 1/2 in my purse and 1/2 in my skate bag..so when I went into the hangar I'd have plenty on me..

I never leave my gear in my vehicle, much less in my soft top jeep. I coached Wreckers practice on Monday and   planned on leaving again later in the afternoon, possibly for an outdoor skate, so I figured it would be ok as I'd be back down shortly. Well I laid down, iced my knees and didn't leave the rest of the day. I forgot all about my gear until the next afternoon when I when to leave to the store. The back zipper was up and part of my top was ripped. Once I realized my bag was gone I couldn't breathe. The first thing that went through my head was "they're gonna kick me out..I can't play derby anymore"...due to loosing $1400 worth of bout tickets. I immediately called my captain in tears...she was quite calm surprisingly. After a few calls were made, I heard back and found out this type of thing has actually happened before. I was told not to freak out, it's not as bad as it seems. I was able to pick up more tickets for Cheap Ticket Night, and told again...it's ok. It's happened..."not a big deal"..I'll never forget those words. Those words convinced me this will in fact NOT end my derby career...

So throughout the day we searched garbage cans, local apartment dumpsters, posted fliers and went to a local pawn shop. Nothing. My friends and derby sisters immediately started posting all over Facebook: "Portland: Stolen skate alert! Black Reidell skates with fat pink laces, along with gear and a Betties uniform. Please keep an eye out for someone selling these!!"
I was so thankful to have the most caring friends!
Well, Beki told me later to come into the skate shop before practice that night. I figured maybe she had a used pair of skates I could use/buy, MAYBE there was an option for some kind of payment plan. When I go in, she tells me some money has been set aside to help me get new skates. I was shocked..I couldn't believe it. She asks my size, I say 9. "I've got a pair of 965's size 8 I want you to try"...there NO WAY I could afford 965's. NO way. But, she brought them out..and they were beautiful. Dark purple with a bit of black on the toe. They were wide, which was a miracle in itself. I have flat/wide feet. They fit..it was like having cotton balls stuffed into my skates lol. I do a lap around the rink..I was in heaven. They were SO light! They were custom skates that someone had ordered but were too big. I don't know how I got so lucky all the way around..but these skates were going to be mine. These 965 Minx purple boots with Revenge plates were going to be mine! How did that happen?! I was excited (AM EXCITED) but along with that I have a feeling of obvious sadness...other people would be buying these for me. Because I left my gear in my car. Because I messed up.
So Skatie Kat comes in and tells Beki the whole amt. of the skates would be covered. I teared up..I was planning on a payment plan for the balance. I find out there was some funds left over from a Chip In account that was created for Scrappy Go Lucky (my teammate) that was created just a few days before to replace her skates and that PMRD were the main donators to that account. She received some money for her birthday to get new ones..then sadly she lost her job and needed those funds for expenses. Then Skatie says there should be some more funds coming in and she'd just roll it over to be used for me. *insert overwhelming feeling of love and support here*

I head to the hangar with my new skates in hand and Skatie Kat. It was the Betties last practice, and without my gear, I wasn't able to participate. I chatted with Skatie while she waited for the guys to get back from an outdoor skate. When they got back, I ran outside to show them what they had helped purchase. It was impossible for me to put into words how thankful I was. But I tried and they all smiled.

When I got home, I logged into Facebook and saw a Chip In account was created for me! Before I knew it, there was $25 in there! Then $70, now it's up to $301! (it wouldn't refresh real time for me so that $ may not be correct) I didn't know who was donating, how much, I had no idea of the details. The only information I had access to was the comments to the right from people who helped. There's only a few comments but 20 total donations so far. The only ones I know about are from the comments and a couple personal friends. There was a woman I had skated with in an open scrimmage last month, a bouncer with the DC Rollergirls, a couple girls with the league and 2 people I've never met before! I will keep names private as they might want to keep it that way.
Before I knew it, the link to this page was all over Facebook. Girls from other leagues were posting, non-derby friends were posting, it was on a derby girls Yahoo group I belong to but honestly forgot about..I was full of emotions I couldn't express.
I'm sure I'll never know exactly who helped me but I will forever be greatful.
So I've got my skates, and I was able to buy new wrist guards elbow pads last night. I still need a few more things, but thanks to everyone's unbelievable kindness I should have everything I lost in the next week or so :)

<3 Nori

I'm a swapping fool!

I found this awesome website last year (Swap Bot) and it's seriously SO much fun! Basically you sign up for any kind of swap you want. Some are emails where you can swap recipes, song lists, a letter about yourself, etc. Some are flat swaps like postcards, a sticker sheet, a sheet of clear stamps, or a large package! Where you fill the envelope with scrapbooking supplies, ribbon, sewing supplies, basically anything you could think of.

I had some personal things going on shortly after I joined (and had an AWESOME rating) so it went down a bit but I'm trying to get it back up. I'm now back on and ready to swap again! I even created my own swap last night, just an email one but still!

6 months later!

I can't believe how bad I am at keeping a blog. I blame it on Facebook. Back in the day, when I used Live Journal, I'd write every day...*sigh*

So, I'll try to cram the last 6 months into a few paragraphs and bring everyone up to speed. Well...everyone as in those that happen to come accross my blog for one reason or another lol.

I'm still skating with the Rose City Rollers, and I'm now a Break Neck Bettie (!!!!!) I tried out for the Fresh Meat program for the second time back in December 2010 and made it. After a few months, I got cleared for endurance, then cleared for scrimmage/team practices. After a few practices and some talks with some of the Betties...I was hooked. I knew that was one of the teams I someday wanted to be on. RCR is such a competitive league, it's hard enough to make a team, much less make one of the teams you WANT...so it was a long shot.
So, the first draft since I made FM comes up. I was nervous, but since I had hurt my knees at Betties practice the week before and was actually (temporarily) on crutches, I didn't think my chances were good. The night of drafts I didn't go to practice. My attendance was fine, and I was sick so I figured if I didn't make it, I'd much rather get the news while sitting at Kay's drinking beer with John and some friends rather than sitting on the bleachers since I wasn't able to skate anyway. I get the call. I made it. I MADE IT! I was officially a BREAK NECK BETTIE! I cried. My derby dream came true, and much faster than I ever could have expected.

So I've now been a Bettie for a month. Season championships are next month (6/18/11) and we're going to take on the High Rollers.